NFL Weak 11 Powder Rankings: *All around the world same song*

By: Will Stevenson

What an NFL Sunday! Well, I only watch the Redzone Channel, so I don’t know what bad football looks like at the moment. As they say, ignorance is bliss. All in all, there is no way to avoid these bad teams, and as the season wears on, teams and players are falling off one by one. This week I can’t ignore the bad play, even if your team has some W’s in the win column; Bad is Bad! Alright, let’s look at the usual suspects and a few returners in NFL Weak 11 Powder Rankings.

  1. Cleveland (0-10)

The Browns are bad, but they aren’t super terrible. They have had six quarterbacks start this year and there is talk of another regime change. Last Thursday we were able to witness their Powderness. The thing is, it was Thursday Night Football, and I refuse to subject myself to such malarkey.

2. Green Bay Packers (4-5)

Have you seen their defense? I know their secondary has been banged up all season, but that performance against the Titans had me checking the ESPN scroll to see if Ted Thompson was going to let Mike McCarthy go. With the Vikings on a slide themselves, and the Lions being the Lions, the Packers could still win the North. Regardless, they suck right now. P-A-N-I-C.

3. New York Jets (3-7)

Even as I root for the Patriots, I refuse to delight in the misery of other fellow AFC East contenders. It’s tough because Bryce Petty is as bad as Ryan Fitzpatrick, and he’s as bad as Geno Smith, and they’re all as bad as Mark Sanchez and whoever was there previously. The defense is suffering, they are -65 in point differential, and have only won one game at home. They have a bye week coming up, so the y might as well go to Petty.

4. Jaguars (2-7)

Blake Bortles sure does overthrow his receivers on the deep ball. It’s getting worse in Jacksonville as the Jags have not forced a turnover since Week 4; It’s Week 11. Turnovers are a bit of luck, but there is strategy in forcing them, just ask the Chiefs. Another regime change in Jacksonville, I’ll stay tuned to the Espn scroll.

5. Buffalo Bills (4-5)

Remember when the Bills were riding high? Yeh, neither. The season will tell you who’s good and who’s not, and with Rex Ryan at the helm, they surely will suffer. The Bills are +34 in point differential, but have lost three straight games. Looks to be another marginal season for Rex and the Bills.

6. Bears (2-7)

Alshon Jeffrey is gone for four games. Jay Cutler is the quarterback. I don’t know what we expect form a John Fox coached team, we know what it looks like when the ship goes down. The Bears will start anew, again after the season.

7. 49ers (1-8)

Colin Kaepernick looked good yesterday. The 49ers didn’t allow 800 yards of offense, so that is a plus. They’re so bad that this feels like moral victories, even though it seems that nobody will be back for this team next year.

8. Rams (4-5)

I wasn’t going to put the Rams on here, because they won, but they still are a bad team. As long as Jeff Fisher is here, they will be average, and they are. Yes, they beat the Jets, but beating a bad team 9-6 isn’t something that excites me.

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The Hunt for the Redzone October

red-zoneBy: Will Stevenson

They always say it’s best to never meet your idols in person. They say it’s better to admire them from afar, while they are in their element. If you happen to meet them out on the street, their cloak of deity could evaporate with a slight, or a refusal to acknowledge you. The same ca be said for childhood crushes. Speaking from experience, I remember being head over heels for this girl in my class. I studied her every mannerism, eavesdropped on her conversations, asked her friends what she liked, and admired whatever she wore; I loved that girl. A few years passed, and through Myspace we reconnected. We talked on the phone and reminisced on the old school days. I asked her out on a date, in which she said yes. So that day came, I met her at a bar (I was too young at the time to realize what a “bar date” meant) and had a few drinks. Actually, she had a lot to drink. I paid, thinking that was the gentleman thing to do. About an hour in, I went to the bathroom to re-assess my life, I came back and she was talking to some other guy. I approached, they both laughed: It was her boyfriend. Turns out they were just using me to get drunk for free.

This is exactly how the gameplay for the NFL has been. These games lure us in with things of the past, get drunk off of us, give themselves to another, and wait for next week when we return to them again. We only seem to remember the good things about watching football: Drinks, food, family, friends, Hail Mary, basically the things they show in commercials. What we don’t realize is these games take almost four hours to watch, commercials on end, and so much time in-between plays that you have time to zone out to something else. We have deceived ourselves as the technology and NFL have progressed. We don’t watch the game the same way we use to back in the day. The amount of options available at our disposable has made watching football, disposable.

The Redzone has now become a blessing and a curse. When I think about the Cleveland Browns, I only think of them in a confusing light. When I look at their record, they are winless, but I only seem to recall watching them score. How can that be? Oh yes, the Rezone only shows me when they have the opportunity to score, therefore you have no idea how they got to the 4o yard line or that there 13 play drive was; 4 screen passes, 3 runs for loss, 3 more check downs, 2 penalties, and a beautiful touchdown pass on 3rd down. That’s the thing; You never see those plays! You know when you see those long, exhausting drives? The stand-alone games: Thursday, Sunday, and Monday Night Football.

How many games to do you watch from start to finish on Sunday? How can you with all of the options. You would literally just have to have basic cable or go to a restaurant in which you only can catch one or two games. We know Brock Osweiler is bad because we’ve had to witness the Texans on Primetime four times at the least. He’s bad. We get it. Think about it, the Seahawks vs Cardinals ended up 6-6 OT in the Sunday Night game. That game, if at 1pm or 4:15pm would be on the Redzone Channel maybe four to five times, and that would only be for the field goals attempted.

We don’t care though. The NFL is giving us booty-juice every single week, but we still come back for more. We keep thinking it’s going to get better, but it doesn’t. Just like I still messaged that girl after the “bar date”. Sometimes, winning isn’t everything… Scoring is.

Jags vs Titans Thursday Night. Enjoy!

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Same Ol Jags!!

By Tay Holloway

This season the Jaguars was sapped to be on the rise. They had people looking at them as finally maybe getting over the hump that has kept them down for many years now. They have drafted a quarterback, running back, linemen and a few skill players on the defense. They even went out and spent some money on a few free agents like Prince Amukamura. I guess sometimes you can do all you can and it still will not work.


This season the typical problem for the Jaguars is that they cant finish games. They have been playing very hard and had good game planning but the execution on the field and the holding of leads have been lacking. The first game of the seasons was against the Packers and they could have won that game but they was lacking consistency in the running game and they could not stop Rodgers on the defensive side of the ball. Their pass rush is just as bad as the Cowboys and they seem to let every Quarterback have time to stand in the pocket and go through their reads to  make the proper pass. That is not going to cut it in the NFL so thats one of the resons why they are not winning games as they were predicted too.

NFL: Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars

The jaguars added Chrisy Ivory to their back field to give some insurance to a injury plagued TJ Yeldon but that has not panned out because Ivory has missed a few games with a undisclosed illness. When he did get into the game he only profucted in one game and that was against a very terrible Colts defense that everyone and their mother has been running well against. They won that game and I didnt expect them to lose agains the Colts who are just a mess. They also won against another team that has been letting everyone else run over them this season and thats the Bears. I guess this team can only win when they face a defense that cant stop a ant from running through a wet paper towel.


This week they played the Raiders and they was just awful on both sides of the ball. Bortles has a very slow start to the game and the wideouts dropping all types of open passeas was not helping. TJ Yeldon does not need to start and he needs to be second fiddle to Chris Ivory. This is all the making of a team that just cant get right. I thought this would be the season to atleast finish 500 but I dont think so now.

I say its back to the drawing board the this jaguars team who was said to be able to fight for a chance to win their division. It unfortunate because they have the talent but it just seems like they cant get it together so the NFL should maybe try sending them to London as their permanent team since they play over their each season anyway. Until next time guys, be safe!

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