By: Will Stevenson
In this weeks Powder Rankings, we’ll only stick to the worst teams in the league. As the season progresses, it’s time we always take a look at the fraudulent teams as well. This Sunday, as well as last Thursday gave us insight on how bad some teams really are as they struggle to generate offensive continuity, stop the run, and make short kicks or field goals and/or extra points (Thanks Graham Gano). There aren’t as many terrible teams this week, but I will make it up by the end of the week.
*No NFC East Teams this week!*
*The Texans belong on the Powder Rankings*
*I’m tired of writing about the Buccaneers*
*The Lions, Texans, Cardinals, Bills, Ravens, Rams, Eagles, Washington, Packers, Chiefs, and Titans are all a bunch of phonies. Big Fat Phonies.*
1. 49ers (1-5)
Let’s get the obvious out the way; Most people and some players want Kaepernick to fail. Kaepernick was Blaine Gabbert bad on Sunday, and mostly because that whole team is terrible. Kaep has more upside than Gabbert, but the 49ers do not have enough talent to overcome their terrible start to the season. Their run defense is bad, passing offense is bad, wide receivers are bad. The 49ers could turn into the Browns as the franchise that hires and fires their coaches after one season.
2. Jets (1-4)
The Jets didn’t play Sunday and still found a way to lose. The Patriots, Bills, and Dolphins all won pushing the Jets further into AFC East oblivion. They play tonight against the struggling Cardinals, on the road, so this gives them a change to escape next weeks Powder Rankings.
3. Colts (2-4)
You lost to Brock Oswieler. You were winning. Frank Gore had the first 100 yard game for a Colts running back in three years. Andrew Luck isn’t supposed to do this, it’s suppose to be the other way around in this rivalry. The Colts just aren’t that good. Period.
4. Bears (1-5)
Poor Brian Hoyer, he’s actually played well this year, but the Bears are a team disaster and John Fox should be surprised if he makes it through the whole season. Defense is really suffering this year, and their ability to capitalize on offense is a staple of the John Fox experience.
5. Browns (0-6)
They are really trying. These aren’t the Browns who are winless and abysmal, they’re just winless. They came so close against the Titans, but the Browns pass defense allowed Mariotta to look like a competent quarterback.
6. Jaguars (2-3)
Beating the Bears doesn’t mean much these days. Blake Bortles looks like the reincarnation of Jeff George, the good and the terrible.
7. Panthers (1-5)
The Panthers should be higher, or lower on this list, depending on how you see these rankings. Down 21-0 against the Saints. The secondary looked like the Saints as Brees shredded them once again and often throughout the game. Their desperate comeback ended effectively with a missed extra point that could have tied the game.
8. Bengals (2-4)
In their defeat to the Patriots, the Bengals looked like their old selves. In the first half, they looked like the Regular Season team we expect with their haunting defense. In the second half, they looked like the Playoffs Bengals we expect to fold with penalties and frustration. The Bengals lost to a good team, so that’s not the issue. They can’t score enough touchdowns nor keep teams out of the endzone. I suppose the Marvin Lewis hot seat arises again for the 12th year.
9. Chargers (2-4)
I think the Chargers will make the playoffs… Or lose the rest of their games.
10. Dolphins (2-4)
A win against the Steelers got them out of the cellar, but the Dolphins are still bad. Ryan Tannehill and their defense will return to form as they will continue to be underwhelming