NFL Weak 4 Powder Rankings

By Will Stevenson

Take a look those standings at the bottom to see where your team stands. Even with the Giants falling to 2-2 last night with their loss to the Vikings, the Giants don’t really suck enough to make this week’s Weak 5 Powder Rankings. Although Ben McAdoo’s face is enough to make this list.

It’s nice to know parity exists in the NFL; New teams suck every single week. There are some familiar faces, the Dolphins, Jets, and the Browns. There are some newcomers as I welcome in the contestants of the NFC Championship Game circa last season. With half of the league holding just one win, there’s plenty to go around for this week’s “Powder Rankings”

1. Cleveland 0-4

The Browns are getting worse by the week as Josh Gordon enters rehab and will not be returning this week. No more Believeland.

2. Miami 1-3

Ryan Tannehill still stinks. The offensive line which has four 1st round picks still cannot block. That defense, as expensive as it is, isn’t anywhere near good.

3. Jets 1-3

Nine interceptions in the last two games for Ryan Fitzpatrick, and he’s still Ryan Fitzpatrick so, yeah. Their secondary is giving up a 71% completion rate to opposing quarterbacks. They face the Steelers next without Darelle Revis, so it looks to be pretty bad. Or not so bad if you’re Revis.

4. Tampa Bay 1-3

When you’re young and not good to start with, turning the ball over isn’t something that helps you become a winning team. They play the Panthers next Monday Night, so facing another struggling team may help them get off their three-game losing streak.

5. Chargers 1-3

Let’s make up a situation: It’s the 4th quarter, there’s four minutes remaining, the Chargers have the ball, and whoever they are playing don’t have any timeouts. The Chargers should win right? No. No they won’t. Somehow, they will not hold that lead.

6. Jaguars 1-3

This young team got their first win against the Colts in London, which doesn’t really propel you out of the Powder Rankings. Their defense is still bad, giving up big plays, but luckily for them they can’t lose next week. They have a bye.

7. Saints 1-3

They should be higher on this list, but they won a game they should have won against the Chargers. Any buyer’s remorse with Drew Brees? That defense is still terrible as usual. They can’t lose next week either, they have a bye.

8. Bears 1-3

I know they won, and they may have found a running back, buy Brian Hoyer is their quarterback. He may even keep the job when Jay Cutler returns. The Bears will stay in the Powder Rankings.

9. 49ers 1-3

Blaine Gabbert continues to do Blaine Gabbert things. Navarro Bowman is out again and the 49ers run defense continue to regress.

10. Lions 1-3

Always close, always losing. Story of the Matt Stafford era.

11. Cardinals 1-3

Wow they are bad. The offense seems to go for the “Madden Deep Ball” too often instead of working the ball down the field. This type of losing coupled with the Rams winning isn’t good for the knee-jerk future of Bruce “Kangol Kool” Arians. They play the 49ers on a short week this Thursday, and with Carson Palmer’s concussion, they may make a return next week.

12. Titans 1-3

Marriota has hit a wall, but only if you believe he was actually good. He suffers the same fate Cam Newton use to face when he threw for 400 yards in his rookie debut. That game against the Bucs will haunt him forever.

13. Colts 1-3

Andrew Luck is throwing for lots of yards. Luck has no running game. Luck gets hit. Luck throws interceptions. Story of the Colts life, but they are in the NFC North, so they can still win the division.

14. Panthers 1-3

Whoo. Cam Newton still getting hit hard like Vick did. Running game isn’t as it was. Defense is getting sliced open. Losing to the Vikings isn’t as bad as you think, and the Falcons seem to be on their usual regular season winning hoax. The way the Saints and Bucs are playing, the Panthers have a chance to get some wins. If the Falcons go on their winning streak, the wildcard may be out of sight.

PS: Washington is still terrible. Those 5 yard passes aren’t fooling anybody.

American Football Conference

AFC E W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
NE 3 1 0 .750 2-1 1-0 1-1 2-1 81 61 +20 L1
Buff 2 2 0 .500 1-1 1-1 1-1 1-2 87 68 +19 W2
NYJ 1 3 0 .250 0-2 1-1 1-0 1-2 79 105 -26 L2
Mia 1 3 0 .250 1-0 0-3 0-1 1-2 71 89 -18 L1
AFC N W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Pitt 3 1 0 .750 2-0 1-1 1-0 2-0 108 80 +28 W1
Bal 3 1 0 .750 1-1 2-0 1-0 3-1 84 72 +12 L1
Cin 2 2 0 .500 1-1 1-1 0-1 2-2 78 82 -4 W1
Cle 0 4 0 .000 0-1 0-3 0-1 0-2 74 115 -41 L4
AFC S W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Hou 3 1 0 .750 3-0 0-1 1-0 2-1 69 73 -4 W1
Jac 1 3 0 .250 1-2 0-1 1-0 1-2 84 111 -27 W1
Ten 1 3 0 .250 0-2 1-1 0-1 0-2 62 84 -22 L2
Ind 1 3 0 .250 1-1 0-2 0-1 1-2 108 125 -17 L1
AFC W W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Den 4 0 0 1.000 2-0 2-0 0-0 2-0 111 64 +47 W4
Oakl 3 1 0 .750 0-1 3-0 0-0 2-0 108 106 +2 W2
Kan 2 2 0 .500 2-0 0-2 1-0 2-2 83 92 -9 L1
San 1 3 0 .250 1-1 0-2 0-1 1-2 121 108 +13 L2

National Football Conference

NFC E W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Phi 3 0 0 1.000 2-0 1-0 0-0 1-0 92 27 +65 W3
Dal 3 1 0 .750 1-1 2-0 1-1 3-1 101 77 +24 W3
New 2 1 0 .667 1-1 1-0 1-1 2-1 63 61 +2 L1
Was 2 2 0 .500 1-2 1-0 1-1 1-1 99 112 -13 W2
NFC N W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Min 3 0 0 1.000 1-0 2-0 1-0 2-0 64 40 +24 W3
Gree 2 1 0 .667 1-0 1-1 1-1 1-1 75 67 +8 W1
Chi 1 3 0 .250 1-1 0-2 1-0 1-2 62 97 -35 W1
Det 1 3 0 .250 0-1 1-2 0-2 0-2 95 102 -7 L3
NFC S W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Atl 3 1 0 .750 1-1 2-0 2-1 2-1 152 124 +28 W3
Tam 1 3 0 .250 0-2 1-1 1-0 1-2 77 128 -51 L3
Car 1 3 0 .250 1-1 0-2 0-1 1-2 109 118 -9 L2
New 1 3 0 .250 0-2 1-1 0-1 0-2 114 130 -16 W1
NFC W W L T PCT HOME ROAD DIV CONF PF PA DIFF STRK
Los 3 1 0 .750 1-0 2-1 2-1 3-1 63 76 -13 W3
Sea 3 1 0 .750 2-0 1-1 1-1 1-1 79 54 +25 W2
San  1 3 0 .250 1-1 0-2 1-1 1-3 90 107 -17 L3
Ari 1 3 0 .250 1-2 0-1 0-1 1-1 92 80 +12 L2
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SouthernFriedSushi

If you are looking for deep insight with big words and well put together sentences, you are looking in the wrong place. I think as i am typing. There are misspelled words, fragmented sentences, improper punctuation, and incomplete thoughts. Nothing is in order, so just becuase I have a title, doesn't mean that's what it is about. I usually write my titles after the fact. I plan nothing. I just write what I am thinking at the moment, and then I just stop. I don't wrap things up, or have a conclusion and intro, just a whole bunch of words coming from a brain that should have been analyzed as a child, but now has 30 years of misguided wisdom. So there you have it.

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